Slap.Punch.Smash. Now Be Still.

It hit the cold marble floor. Porcelain shattered , strewn all over. Black coffee forming a dirty pool
“wh-wh-why why”

“Stupid b*stard. Clean it up! Now!” , she yells as she flings whatever she gets her hands. It flies in every direction of the quiet room.

“oh oh okay.. I –I’ll do it now...” as he motions to run for something to clean up the puddle of fury now staining the once pale floor. She enters, the door to the bathroom  slams shut. Moments later she comes out in her towel. He looks at her like a lost child without a mother. His body limp, energy drained, resting at the edge of the bed. She walks to him, “Get the f*ck out” she yells. Surprised he gets up, walking uncertainly towards the bath. As he passes her she slaps the back of his head in a sudden fit. He stops, confused, in pain, pauses and walks towards the bathroom.

“Come here” she yells. He turns towards her, eyes watery, forehead crinkled, lips quivering.

They hug. He cries. Tears roll down her face.

That one person whom you love so deeply
Watch tears role down his face
As he stares at you in sorrow
Eyes pleading " why are you doing this"
Choke now with remorse and pain

How does once love so childlike turn destructive
Breaking the body, the mind, the fragile heart
How does one continue on down the crumbling path?

It’s like the stream of sunlight
On a cold rainy afternoon
Many snuggling under covers
You lie in bed, warmth of comfort lost.

It’s like soft footsteps on a deserted beach
The sun not in sight but the day bright.

It’s like a stroll along the grey pavements
The icy winter air nipping at your lips
You walk home after a long day at work.
No one is home.

“Just gonna stand there and watch me burn”
“Just gonna stand there and here me cry”

All Rights reserved

Secret

It's part of life to be affected; affected by what happens to us, what doesn't happen to us, what goes on around us.

It's part of life to sometimes feel that ache in your heart; when your hard work, dedication, strife to put your best foot forward goes unnoticed, unappreciated.

It's part of life to slap on a smile while you pretend to yawn, hoping that the tears that roll down your cheek goes unnoticed.

It's part of life to isolate; completing tasks as best as possible while having the time of your life, only to return home feeling down and wondering what is the real point in this thing called "life".

It's life to experience, it's life to feel, it's also life to pick yourself up every time you stumble or fall while telling yourself that :

Life is a roller coaster

You have to go through ups and downs

it's okay to scream,it's okay to laugh, it's okay to be scared,

it's okay to look messed up

Consolation is, you will arrive at the final point in one piece

The beggining is the End

"I think thefore I am"? Think again.

I’m not sure if it’s that time of the year where one feels the need for deeper reflection. The mind occupied, the heart congested, the soul restless yet calm. How blessed is the man who has arrived at his resting place with fruitful peace.

Many a time people claim to have many worthy achievements. Antipathy, peace, happiness, or fun are just some of the great achievement the inhabitants of a concrete jungle claim to have accomplished. But really, to what extent?

A.N.T.I.P.A.T.H.Y

How many times have we heard one declare: “I don’t care” when later is found in the shower sobbing for lost friendship, hurt by alienation, angered by injustice, in anguish over  lack of comfort?

P.E.A.C.E

How many times have we heard one declare: “ I’m am at peace with my decision”; later that same person is found running away from the reminder of past “what could have beens” , affected by some news pertaining to the subjects of that “peaceful decision” while forcing the self to turn into a great bundle of happiness.

H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

Happiness?

 Happy is the man who fills his life with material wealth; he buys everything his heart desires. Happy is the man who desires material wealth?

Happy is the man whose life is as calm as a quiet desert; the many lies buried under the scorching desert sand. Happy are the people who see this man as the oasis that gives great life.  A life of deceit and ill praise that only death would justice stand firm.

Happy is the man who has a multitude of friends, who laugh and make merry in a time of great power and riches. These same “friends”  will grow quiet when the day of justice arrives. Death shall be his comfort.

Happy is the man who finds comfort in untruth. Though the storm will never rage, the heart will never experience pure joy.

F.U.N

Fun. It is for the moment. Enjoy it while it lasts. Only the one who is with a pure heart, genuine sincerity, honesty and openness will have fun turn into joy that lasts in the mind’s eye, and heart.

Achievement is a comfort to most. But honesty to one’s self is the only way to be moulded; the only way to “the truth, the way, and the life”.

All Rights Reserved

The End is Near

Pictures, writings, video recordings... all bring us back to a time,

 

a place,

 

 a phase in our lives

 

 that has moulded us into the individuals that we are today. Whether we like it or not, we are part of a larger community. What we do affects the life of someone else.

 

As we ponder on pictures, writings, video recordings, may we delve into the pain, hurt, joy, anguish once felt. It is the best touch of realisation that there is so much to be thankful for,

 
 
So much to work for,

 

 

so much more to achieve.

 

The end of the year is nigh. Have a meaningful preparation to embrace the new year ahead.

 

Xoxo c

Get Rid of Holiday Weight Gain

2 weeks of holiday bliss, and I come back to my dear friend and colleague agreeing that I had gained weight!
 
Well, if you compare these 2 pictures:

Charlene Mixfm and Ryan Mixfm

Charlene Mixfm and Ryan Mixfm

You can see that even slight weight gain on me is pretty obvious on my face.


Ryan was really sweet, not wanting to say anything at first, but, even I had an inkling that my crazy food marathon for the 2 weeks of bliss would make me pack on the pounds ( even if slightly):

Now you can imagine why the weight gain... I'm such a foodie! I usually stick to one full meal a day, coffee, fruits, and the occasional "kuih" or "cake". But this was food fiesta everyday!

 

I did try to control the weight gain a little by hitting the gym. But still, there is only so much your body can burn each session. Goes to show, you become what you eat. Each unhealthy indulgence has thousands of calories your body DOES NOT NEED. And while you consume it, you usually only burn about a few hundred calories per session at the gym( might I had, I kinda HATE doing cardio training). Because of that the body gets kinda chunky like this :

Charlene Mixfm Gym

Instead of smaller and slender like this:

Charlene Mixfm Gym

So it's back to a stricter diet now and more cardio exercise.

DIET
No Carbs
Minimal Sugar
1 main meal
1 small meal
Heallthy snacks ( fruit)

No Cake
No Chocolate
No Rice
No bread
Less oil
More Vegetables

It's pretty basic choices really. Just watch what you eat. I still had mutton and Vege for my main meal today. It is not very healthy, but what Busy Working Malaysian with a budget can survive without going to the hawker stalls or mamak for a meal? I think it's a practical method to dieting.

WORKOUT

2 types of cardio works well for me.
The first is the cross-trainer:

Charlene Mixfm Gym

Why I love the Cross-trainer
It works the arms (triceps, upper back muscles, shoulders depending on which direction you pull and push)

It tones the leg muscles especially the thighs and gluts.
Tip: Think of the muscle you are working out when you exercise.

The second is the cardio-wave:

Charlene Mixfm Gym

Why I love Cardio- wave:
It burns alot of calories. It's a good workout for your thighs and gluts. It also works the core muscles when you do not hold on to anything and maintain balance while moving in a skiing motion. It's actually one of the most fun cardio machines.

I usually try to do a practical 20 minutes on cross-trainer and 10-20 minutes on the cardio-wave. Fingers crossed I will be photo ready in no time!

Disclaimer: This is in no way professional Health or Nutrition or Nutritional advice. Try at your own disgression.

Haunt

I never thought life was like an ocean
no beginning, no end, no direction
just futile perception.
I never thought life
would be a constant struggle
at the edge of a cliff
Grasping for sharp edges;
it stab, slits, slashes, pierces the depths of the soul.

I never felt the need to ponder on life's purpose;
it was as clear as the eye in the sky
burning its profound omnipotence
while blinding the eye that sought It
It's constant warmth a reminder of existence

How calm were the Songs of Innocence
How peaceful were the slumbers of the sleepers of this quiet earth
How jovial were the days spent in warm company
bursting with goodness, love, comfort with no haste

Now how the Songs of Experience sing in throngs
Reminding one of the illuminating grey
that's searching,  hunting, hovering nigh
to choke, to suffocate, laughing at the throttled gasping for life

I never thought life is like  a pursuit
of discovery, of conquest, of battles to be won
While winding vines of thorns thrive,
the warm sunlight  peeps mild bright;
like a child on Christmas morning's sight
sings of joys in innocent merriment till night.

Perhaps there is hope in all
Perhaps there is none at all
But the plight of the young should only be
Not to be or not to be
but to pursue, to relinquish, to cherish life
in the bravest form of dignity in strife.
For the day shall come when all will perish
and return to The Maker that only He would cherish.

Parkour for Beginners

I love doing things that are:

 

KickAss

Cool

Challenging

Skillful

Creative

So I tried Parkour. It's actually kinda like freestyle running developed from military obstacle course training. Super awesome. The pros do all kinds of stunts but I stuck to the basics for an impromptu workout after a morning jog.

Parkour for beginners. Here's what I did,

Step one: Jump up a step.

Charlene MixFm; Parkour Step 1

Step 2 : Jog while picking up the speed to gain momentum.

Charlene MixFm : Parkour Step2

Step 3: Jump down.

Charlene Mixfm : Parkour Step 3

Step 4: Continue the circuit while picking up speed. Experiment with different styles of jumping.

Charlene MixFm : Parkour Step 4

It really beats doing lunges and cardio machines at the gym as this fun activity gives you a good cardio workout while jumps work the gluts.

Your focus when you're new at it is mantaining good balance ( jumping on and off), getting creative with jumps, and picking up the pace ( for good cardio workout).

 

Can't wait to be able to do these soon:

 

Image thanks to Google images

 

Lemme know how it goes. Have Fun!

Lazy Gym Day Workout

Charlene Mixfm : Workout

Honestly, after the novelty of going to the gym wears off, it can be quite the chore! But here's what I do on a lazy gym day.

First things first:

 

Forget

I'm tired

I'm so lazy

So jam lah

Gym so boring

My body's aching

I rather go ...

 

because all these reasons have much truth behind it. Chances are, they would convince you not to go workout. So take control of your mind and just get yourself to the gym, "just do it".

 

I find thinking about things I love keeps me distracted from the "malas-ness" of gyming. For me, music, and dance is perfect. With that in mind, start your workout with some stretching.

One of my favourite ones to do:

Charlene MixFm : warm up 

 

How: Just find any machine or bar you can prop your legs on and start loosening the muscles. (Just make sure no one is eye-ing the machine for it's rightful use before hand though)

 

Also, with my slight dance background, getting into dance poses while stretching is also another fun way to keep yourself motivated.

Charlene Mixfm : Machine Stretch



How: Again, any machine including cardio machines which no one is using. Think Step Up or Black Swan as inspiration.





Step Up : Image thanks to Google





Black Swan : Image from Google

 Get into any pose that you think looks cool and hold for about 15 seconds. Most importantly, listen to your body: your muscles , your joints, makesure you stay attentive to muscles stretching so you would know how much to stretch. Mild discomfort is good , but not pain. Be careful not to overstretch as recovering from a muscle tear can take years. I could do side spilts no problem till I tore the muscle due to lack of warm up. I still feel a slight piercing pain if I am not fully warmed up before attempting a split.

After about 5 minutes or more of warm up, I like to start off with cardio ( to get it out of the way) . But if I'm really lazy, I'll do some abs exercises on the A-bench first.

Charlene MixFm: A-Bench Abs workout

 How: There are 11 different movements that I do. The one in the picture is the hardest; legs elevated at 45 degree angle. You have to make sure you keep your back flat on the bench while focusing on holding the angle with you abs especially the lower abs. I used to do normal crunches before I learnt this repertoire. Normal crunches gave me strong abs, but this 11 movements one gave me a better sculpted mid section.

For a lazy day, I'll call it a wrap after a minimum of 20 minutes cardio. I would probably die if I didn't have my ipod with me. David Guetta usually does the trick. On an ultra lazy day, I usually choose to do some cardio wave. It's like skiing. Burns tons of calories in the shortest amount of time. The picture below shows 430 calories in about 20 minutes. Then again, I feel it a bigger chore when I run for 20 minutes. Doesn't show that much calories being burnt but I feel way more tired. I should defintely check out why is that the case. But the thing with cardio wave is, you have to keep the speed up. You can check out what speed is recommended on the display. Think of it as your personal trainer telling you what to do.

Keep telling yourself you have to be done with everything within 45minutes to keep you on your toes. By the end of your workout, you WILL definitely feel happier. Lemme know how it goes!

Disclaimer: This is in no way professional health and fitness advice.